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Coach Brikka loses his head.

Bring Me The Head of Coach Brikka is a 6-part Mutant League story, starting in Issue 31, and the only one in the series.

Staff

Story

At the Toxicon Headquarters, Mutant League boss Zalgor Prigg is watching the Midway Monsters win another match, captained by Bones Jackson and coached by Coach Brikka. Prigg hires K.T. Slayer of the Slaycity Slayers to steal Brikka's head in return for the marriage of him and Brenda Brikka, Coach's daughter. With the head, Prigg plans to use Brikka's knowledge to power Doctor Wizz's battledroids. Back to a game between the Monsters and the Slayers during the Super Bowel XXIV, the Midway team are winning 419-386 before the Dukes of Biohazard offer Coach Brikka a doctored slice of puke, blowing his head off. K.T. catches the head and runs off. The Monsters need to retrieve it, but are prevented from doing do by a hoarde of mercenaries - a group made up of members of the Terminator Trools, Misfit Demons, Turbo Techies, Warslammers and Killer Convicts, "to name a few".

In the midst of all this, the game continues with more deaths and maiming than before. Bones Jackson is about to get thrashed when the action freezes and the adverts come on, advertising delicassies such as "Diet Smeg" and L.A. Gimp shoes. With the adverts over, Jackson is saved from his beating by The Razor Kid, an independent player who bet heavily on the Monsters to win and he doesn't like to lose. Jackson calls a time out, giving the Monsters time to think up a plan. As Bones relays his plan which sees the rest of the team sacifice themselves for the greater good, the Razor Kid returns on a big tank.

With the main members of the Monsters now onboard the tank, Grim McSlam happily reminds everyone that they are outnumbered, low on fuel, almost out of ammo and it is about to rain. Suddenly, a giant footballer rips the cannon off the top of the tank (complete with the Razor Kid). As it is about to kill the Kid, a stampede of female admirers arrive, trying to get to their idol, the Razor Kid. Their weight in numbers topples the giant, freeing the Kid. He then finishes things by throwing a dirty hanky of his into the Slayers, leading the fangirls to leap on them.

Commentators Chuck Tempest and Bob Chong try to keep up with the Monsters, attempting to get a recap on the action so far and their feelings when an explosion sends them scattering. Grim suddenly stops fighting as, just as suddenly, the entire pitch is covered in snow. They realise they must be in the Winter Olympics and take part in Freestyle Clay Bobsleigh Shooting and crush a pair of figure skaters. They soon reach Slayer, who is tripped up by Jackson. Brikka's head is sent right into the path of the waiting Prigg and Wizz.

Prigg double-crosses Slayer and keeps the head, and the promise of marriage to Brenda, to himself, shutting Toxicon's door on him. Slayer (reluctantly) agrees to help the Monsters get Brikka's head back, bursting into Prigg's base by kicking Grim's head at the door. Slayer then bursts in and grabs Brikka's head from a jar of water. The automatic guns miss hopelessly, shooting everything else instead. As the Monsters dive outside underneath a closing door, a giant screen appears. On it, Slayer challenges the Monsters to a play-off; the winner will win the Mutant League, Brikka's head and Brenda's hand in marriage. Bones agrees, but K.T. and Wizz have a plan.

The day of the play-off arrives. After a moving performance of the national anthem by Whitlow Euston, the Slaycity Slayers, dressed in Wizz's robot suits, begin connecting together until they become one giant unit, piloted by Slayer. The Slayers begin to lay waste to the Monsters. Grim leaps in to tackle the giant, but is blasted away. The Razor Kid breaks the "fourth wall", admitting to knowing the writers and what to do next. Razor Kid picks up the football and throws it up the "cranial ejector pod", destroying the robot. As Bones climbs up the remains, he punches Slayer in the face, prompting the massive shell to fall to the ground. The championship is won and, much to Bones' horror, the Midway captain is to be married to Brenda Brikka!

Timeline

There have been no other Mutant League stories to date.

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