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The finalists line up

Monster of the Year is a 3-part Decap Attack story, beginning in Issue 66.

Staff

Story

A special service train arrives at the station and waiting for it are Professor Frank N Stein, Chuck D Head and Igor. Frank is ecstatic; his creation, Chuck, has been entered into the prestigious Monster of the Year award. Igor isn't so sure about Chuck's chances against some stiff competition, but Head is confident enough. Then, Head's "torso" starts to rumble and Chuck appears, sick of being cooped up. The professor isn't happy about him being out; if anybody notices he's a monster, there might be panic. Sure enough, Chuck is forced to hide as two boys pass by, but they don't seem in the slightest bit bothered that they're in the presence of 'potty' Frank N Stein and bonkers Chuck. The trio get on the train but find that their reserved compartment has been "un-reserved" by some burly thugs. Head tries to plead for their seats back, but an uncooperative Chuck reels off a list of insults from inside his jacket. The angriest, Keith (or "Keiff") loses his temper and punches Head, accidentally knocking him clean off Chuck's shoulders. The men believe they have beheaded a human and run for it. Soon after, the train conductor arrives to inspect Frank's tickets. A grin slides across his face when he realises these tickets are invalid. After trying to get around the most stringent rules about being on the train, Chuck and company are forced to leave the train - as it's moving.

The three eventually arrive at the awards ceremony, albeit three hours. They're not allowed in, but Chuck deals with the doorman by dumping him headfirst into a bin. The professor bumps into his old friend, Doctor X, who has brought his creation, Terry. Frank is amazed at his ability to shrink to almost nothing and calls Chuck over to meet him. After collecting his champagne glass, Chuck comes over but clumsily steps on Terry, thinking someone's just left chewing gum on the floor. Frank drags them all away, knowing he'll never get paid for the brains X bought. Afterwards, Chuck goes backstage, after Igor tells him not to get in a fight. The monster looks for his categorised table, passing werewolves and bumping into invisible men. As Chuck finds the right table, he is insulted by other entrants for being 'any collection of old body parts'. Chuck starts a fight with the Frankenstein's Monster lookalike, spilling it onto the stage.

With his arms pinned, Chuck shows what he can do by bopping the purple monster with this head. He then turns on the other foe, picking at a loose thread, unravelling it and watching the green head fall to the floor. The bodyless monster laments not being able to (not) live with a body anymore, something Head understands. The purple monster returns, insisting that Chuck will "never work in this town again." Chuck's had enough and throws Head at him, resulting in him shattering to little pieces. Since he's the only one left intact, Chuck wins the man-made category. Later, the Monster of the Year award is about to be presented, but Head is getting fed up with being thrown at Chuck's enemies all the time. He and Chuck argue, with the latter agreeing to split from their partnership. Somehow, the announcer knows this, as the award goes to Head, with Chuck gobsmacked.

Back home, Head has become a superstar, appearing on posters with Take That agreeing to be backing singers on his new single. Chuck is distraught and wishes to go back to being friends with Head. The skull, now with shades and a new hairpiece, can't forgive the abuse of old and insures his huge bouncer gets Chuck out of the castle for good.

Trivia

  • This Decap adventure was the first to be left on a cliffhanger and is part of an arc that runs through The Headless Snowmen and Nanny Knows Best. The only other Decap story to have any relation to the next one was Dead, in conjunction with Walls.
  • The story continues Decap's tradition of being filled with British references, such as dodgy train services, Take That, hooligans and names like Keith and Terry.
  • Monster of the Year appears to be a parody of The Academy Awards (Oscars), with entrants appearing as cliquey as the actor stereotypes. The award itself seems to resemble an Oscar, although it looks more like a monster's fang.

Timeline

The previous Decap Attack story was The Replacement. The next is The Headless Snowmen.

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