- Jamie J - story
- Stiv - art and lettering
In Castle Frank N. Stein's laundry room, Chuck D Head is reading the Transylvanian Times, naked while his bandages are in the wash. He proceeds to break the fourth wall and attack the readers for calmly waltzing back in after ten years' absence. While Igor recoils in horror shortly afterwards, Chuck retrieves his bandages, only to find they've turned pink after the Prof left his thong in the machine. The Prof tries to calm Chuck down, but it doesn't work, and Head's bragging about his popularity on Facebook (built upon a mass of lies) only serves to agitate Chuck even more. Chuck drags a protesting Head away from the laptop to explore unseen parts of the castle, while Stein brags about inventing the internet, from a certain point of view. Chuck goes through a mental list of what he needs, and he and Head proceed to break the fourth wall again before coming to a corridor full of closed doors, where Head hopes not to find a reference to The Shining. Behind each door they find Nanny demanding crumpets, an exercise class, a swarm of bees (including a bound and gagged Charmy), the Shining reference featuring Mr Cuddle Bunny, a psychic octopus monster named Jennifer who eats LOLcats, a bus, a standard broom closet, and for some reason, the cast of The Trap Door. As Head complains that this isn't how Nigel would do things, behind the next door Chuck encounters his identical twin brother from the future who is trying to find a way to realign time. Chuck slams the door on him and keeps going, opening the next door and suddenly unleashing the Pumpkin army, who swarm the webpage and obscure the Prof, who tells the reader to click on something else quick before they can claim the internet.
- Rooms marked the return of Decap Attack to Sonic the Comic
- This story drew decidedly mixed reactions from readers, mostly verging on the negative. However, Nigel Kitching apparently liked it upon reading it.
- This story also repeatedly breaks the fourth wall, in a radical departure from the classic Decap Attack story style.